My first couple of years post menopause, I found myself trying to maintain the status quo and wondering why it felt so odd to still be “ME”. To do all the things I’ve done for years without effort. To remember what I was doing or trying to get done without feeling like I am losing my mind. I felt like my body and mind belonged to someone else.

Midlife is often called a “second adolescence”—a time of physical, emotional, and psychological recalibration. For many women, it brings shifting roles, changing bodies, career pivots, caregiving responsibilities, and deep questions about identity and purpose. In this transitional season, it’s easy to fall into harsh self-criticism or feel like we’re supposed to have it all figured out. But what if, instead of demanding perfection, we offered ourselves kindness?

Enter self-compassion.
Self-compassion is not self-pity or indulgence. It’s the practice of treating ourselves with the same empathy, care, and understanding we’d extend to a dear friend. Research shows that self-compassion can improve emotional resilience, lower anxiety, and enhance overall well-being. During midlife—a period full of change and often, silent grief—this mindset is not only helpful, it’s essential.

Here are five powerful ways you can begin to practice self-compassion during your midlife journey:

1. Talk to Yourself Like You Would a Friend
   Notice the tone of your inner dialogue. Would you say the same things to a friend struggling with aging, uncertainty, or burnout? Replace self-criticism with supportive, affirming language. Try saying: “This is hard, but I’m doing the best I can right now.”
2. Normalize Rest and Retreat
   Midlife often brings a recalibration of energy. Give yourself permission to rest without guilt. Whether it’s taking a nap, stepping away from overstimulation, or saying “no” to an extra commitment—honor your need for replenishment.
3. Reconnect with Your Body Through Gentle Movement
   Instead of forcing your body to perform or “bounce back,” explore movement that feels nurturing. This might mean walking, yoga, dancing in your kitchen, or stretching before bed. Movement becomes a way to say: “I’m still here, and I care for you.”
4. Set Boundaries Without Apology
   As you grow, so do your needs. Compassionately acknowledge when people, environments, or roles no longer serve you. Setting boundaries isn’t selfish—it’s an act of self-respect. Start small and practice saying: “I can’t take that on right now.”
5. Celebrate Small Wins and Transitions
   Midlife isn’t just about loss—it’s also rich with wisdom and evolution. Practice self-compassion by celebrating your growth, even in subtle ways. Journal your progress, share a story with a friend, or simply pause to recognize how far you’ve come.

In a culture that pushes hustle, perfection, and youth, choosing self-compassion is revolutionary. It allows us to embrace our imperfections, soften through change, and reconnect with our true selves. The midlife transition is not a crisis—it’s an invitation to be kinder, slower, and more present.

Let’s normalize this gentler way of living.

If you’re navigating midlife and ready to deepen your self-compassion practice, I invite you to join my upcoming workshop series, “Graceful Shifts: Embracing Midlife with Kindness.” You’ll walk away with tools, support, and real-life practices for honoring this sacred chapter.